


A Memory of a Garden

by boo_cool_robot



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Trans Female Character, Gen, Gender Issues, Set during PZN Kingdom Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26128798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boo_cool_robot/pseuds/boo_cool_robot
Summary: Milli attempts a conversation with Thisbe about gender and personhood as they go on a mandatory ghost hunt.
Relationships: Ver'million Blue & Thisbe (Friends at the Table)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	A Memory of a Garden

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kapbird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kapbird/gifts).



> This is a quick ficlet I wrote for Kavi kapbird. Happy birthday, Kavi!
> 
> This fic is mostly on the lighter side, but mentions canonical imprisonment and labor exploitation stuff. Also, please forgive any timeline/lore errors.

“This is a real girls’ night, huh?” Milli’s voice rings off the metal shell around her. She makes no real effort to keep the volume down--she can tell that this little wild goose chase down the halls of Fort Icebreaker is no real mission, merely an attempt by Clementine Kesh to occupy her. 

While they’ve been patrolling the halls, Milli’s already cleaned her sidearm, disassembled and reassembled her backup sidearm, and taken her hair out of its stubby ponytail and worked a little kelp oil into it. (It’s begun growing out past regulation length without Clem’s goons inspecting her person in prison every week, and she wants to encourage length.) She’s bored.

Thisbe’s eyes glint in the low light, giving no outward reaction. “Debutante Ver’million Blue, I do not comprehend your statement.”

“You, me, possibly a ghost and a whole night of executing Clem Kesh’s orders. You know, girl stuff. Basically a sleepover.” She makes sure to keep her tone light and wry, to keep the joke going. Plenty of people like the cool girl with bitchy quips; no one likes a girl who seriously kicks up a fuss. Even quasi-revolutionaries could pounce on accusations of hysteria. 

“Debutante Ver’million Blue, I do not require sleep, nor am I a ‘girl.’” 

“Oof, I’m sorry,” Milli winces, has to consciously keep herself in her even soldier’s stride. “Totally on me, shouldn’t have assumed anything from the pronouns.” 

“No, I have elected to be feminine by the constructions of this world and time. But I am not a woman or girl precisely, merely a being.” Thisbe has been taking small steps to keep pace with Milli. It’s rare that Milli feels short next to someone. 

“Oh...No, that’s totally great, choosing whatever kind of gender you want is really wonderful!” Milli angles her body to face Thisbe’s, switching registers again into Gender Mom. “You know, not that I like, know more about synthetic beings than you or anything, but lots of robots can also be women too. It’s not like, you know, you gotta look like Princess Kesh or something to be a girl.” 

“I am aware. One of the farmers who first owned me had chosen to be feminine. She addressed me as feminine as well, so I have continued to be so.” 

Milli winces again at Thisbe’s casual mention of an owner. She doesn’t know what’s going on within SBBR, if Thisbe is really a free agent, and she didn’t need to be getting involved in something besides ensuring as many people as possible stayed out of Kesh and Apostolos’s clutches. But. 

“The first week I, uh, deserted from the military,” Milli says, keeping her voice casual and encouraging, “I met this woman in Lion’s Rest. I looked pretty bad, if you can believe that, and I was just like, stumbling through people’s yards. And she was working in hers, and I don’t know if she just took pity on me or what, but she brought me some tea and rice cakes and sat with me a little bit. And when I thanked her, she just said, ‘I’m a mom. I’m good at this kind of thing, it’s what I do.’ So that made me realize that I wanted to be a girl, so I was.” 

Milli had never learned her name, but she can still see in her mind her earth-smeared, purple-scaled brown forearms, her sleeves rolled up to work in the garden. The first Aposolisian woman she’d ever met. 

She chances a look at Thisbe, who is still impassive. “So you can always change your mind, even if you got told you were some other gender. And you can start presenting and dressing however you want!” 

Thisbe slows. They’ve reached the end and beginning of their patrol circuit again, still no sign of any ghost. 

“I have a skirt. It is red.” Thisbe doesn’t elaborate any further. Milli has never seen her wear any clothing. 

“Uh well...I bet you’d look sick as shit wearing it! Or wearing something else too!” She gives Thisbe a little pat on the hand, even as she realizes that Thisbe probably doesn’t care about reassuring gestures. 

“I appreciate the sentiment, Debutante Ver’million Blue.” 

Well, that seems like the end of any first Gender Conversation if Milli’s ever heard one. She falls back into her soldier’s stride. “Debutante isn’t my title or part of my name, you know...you can just call me Milli. We’re pals now.”

“I understand, Milli,” says Thisbe. 

They walk in silence a few minutes more. Milli adjusts her ponytail again. 

“Do you think the ghost could be a girl?” Milli asks.

“Yes,” says Thisbe, and nothing else.


End file.
